Madison
Engrassia
Professor
Mignano-Brady
English
102
24
April 2017
The Search for Acceptance
The search for acceptance is clearly
evident in the short stories, “Hills Like White Elephants,” by Ernest Hemingway
and “The Birth-mark,” by Nathaniel Hawthorne. Acceptance is a desire that is
both inherited and created; it has no agenda for changing someone nor is it
judgmental. Acceptance is desired throughout any part of life and especially in
relationships. A person in love want to feel that their love is reciprocated. In
both short stories, the characters long so badly to feel loved that they are
willing to undergo surgical procedures they do not necessary want in order to
please their partners. The main characters have an unequal balance of power in
their relationships. The search for acceptance as a theme directly correlates
with Jane the Virgin, a television
show by Jennie Snyder Urman. The main character has to change her life in order
to make others happy to gain acceptance. Both stories reveal an inequality in
the main characters’ relationships secondary to feeling a lack of love from
their partners. The main theme of the short stories - the search for acceptance
- leads to wanting to feel loved and making others happy while sacrificing
individual unhappiness.
In Ernest Hemingway’s short story, the
theme of searching for acceptance is present. While it is never discussed, the
reader can interpret that the main character, Jig, is pregnant and wants to
keep the baby; however, her partner wants her to have an abortion. She wants to
make him happy so they can be blissful. Her partner says, “It’s really an
awfully simple operation, Jig. It’s not really an operation at all” (Hemingway
116). His agenda is to try and change her mind by telling her the operation is
simple. However, giving up a child she wants is not entirely simple. Jig says,
“And you think then we’ll be all right and be happy” (Hemingway 116). Jig wants
to make her partner happy so she can feel loved again at the expense of her own
happiness. Throughout the short story, Jig does not say much, she just listens,
contemplating about having the baby or feeling loved and accepted by her
partner. This shows that there is not an equal balance of power in her marriage.
Jig did not voice any opinion on her pregnancy, she only asked if getting rid
of it will make him love her again. This demonstrates a lack of power and
acceptance. Jig asked the man again, “And if I do it you’ll be happy and things
will be like they were and you’ll love me?” (Hemingway 116). She recognizes
that he no longer feels the same about her and is hoping that they can perhaps
get back to a happier time in their relationship. Jig says, “But if I do it,
then it will be nice again if I say things are like white elephants, and you’ll
like it?” (Hemingway 117). Again, she is looking for his acceptance of her; she
is looking for his approval because to her that is love. Jig does not want to
do it but she wants to make him happy and feel accepted by him. Jig says, “Once
they take it away, you never get it back” (Hemingway 117). She recognizes that there is a loss of
equality in her relationship and she is willing to sacrifice her own feelings
and beliefs, hoping that she will find love, acceptance, and happiness in her
relationship with her partner.
The theme of the search for
acceptance is also present in Nathaniel Hawthorne’s short story. The main
character has a birthmark on her face that her husband perceives as
unattractive. Her husband believes she will be perfect without the birthmark on
her face and repeatedly insists that she remove it. He says, “Georgianna has it
ever occurred to you that the mark upon your cheek might be removed?” (Hawthorne
212). He is voicing his displeasure at the sight of the birthmark which creates
an insecurity in her making her feel as though she is not completely loved or
adequate. Georgianna says, “To tell the truth, it has been so often called a
charm, that I was simple enough to imagine it might be so” (Hawthorne 212).
Georgianna sees her birthmark as beauty and does not want to remove it. Aylmer
knows how dangerous the operation to remove it is, but he is so caught up on
idealism that he wants her to look perfect. The desire to feel loved is clearly
evident when she says, “Let the attempt be made, at whatever risk. Danger is
nothing to me; for life, while this hateful mark makes me the object of your
horror and disgust. . .” (Hawthorne 215). She wants to feel loved by her
husband who is disgusted by a mark on her face, so she does not care about the
danger the operation entails. Georgianna wants to make him happy so she goes
through with it. Unhappiness stems from her flaws of insecurity and acceptance.
After the operation, he says, “You are perfect” (Hawthorne 225). He could not
accept her for what she looks like, which caused unhappiness, feeling undesired,
and rejected. The author says, “As the last crimson tint of the
birth-mark-faded from her cheek, the parting breath of the now perfect woman
passed into the atmosphere. . .” (Hawthorne 225). In the end, her sacrifice to
feel loved cost her life. She, like Jig, is willing to go forward with the
procedure to regain an equal relationship with him and for him to again love
her as much as she loves him. Love for both women makes them feel whole, and
they contemplate a dangerous transformation to gain acceptance. Jig and
Georgianna experience the heartache of not being desired and sought extreme
measures to counter this feeling.
A similar theme comes about in the
television series, Jane the Virgin. In
the first episode, Jane accidentally becomes artificially inseminated during a
routine procedure. The circumstances surrounding this pregnancy become very complicated
because she is in love with a man, and planning to get married. However, the
boyfriend has suggested to her to abort the baby so that they can build their
own family and create their own happiness. Another complication is that Jane
was inseminated by a man who has cancer and that was his last frozen sperm
sample. She also has the moral and religious issue of having an abortion and it
not being accepted. No matter what path she chooses, Jane will ultimately have
to sacrifice her happiness to make someone else happy. If she chooses to abort,
her fiancé will be happy and her desire to be loved by him, as she loves him,
will create an equality in the relationship. Or, she could choose to sacrifice
her life to make a family happy with the only child they can have. Jane,
similar to Jig and Georgianna, receives pressure in making a decision. However,
in contrast to Jig and Georgianna, who sacrifices themselves to please their
partner, Jane chooses what she believes is right and has the baby. Being part of
pop culture, she stood up for her own beliefs and in the end gained acceptance
by her boyfriend and family. Jane, as well as Jig and Georgianna, were all
faced with pressure to make a decision to keep their relationship. This series,
like the short stories, demonstrate the pursuit of acceptance by making
difficult decisions.
When people think of relationships, they
think of everything being equal and everybody living happily ever after. In the
short stories by Hemingway and Hawthorne, as well as the television series, Jane the Virgin all three main
characters are confronted with sacrificing happiness to please another. In
doing so, the main characters hope this will create an acceptance in their
relationship with loving and being loved. The search for acceptance through
sacrifice comes with risks. For example, in “The Birth-mark,” after Georgianna
got her birthmark removed, she passed away. The other argument would be to
stand your ground and demand acceptance, like Jane did. The ultimate outcome,
however, is that either sacrificing or demanding acceptance, both lead to
unhappiness for one side or the other. Acceptance should be free and pure in a
relationship. In life, people inherent the desire to feel loved, happiness, and
accepted and it becomes our basic human instinct.
Works Cited:
Hawthorne,
Nathaniel. “The Birth-Mark.” The Norton
Introduction to Literature. 11th Ed. Kelly J. Mays. 2014. Print.
Hemingway, Ernest. “Hills Like White
Elephants.” The Norton Introduction to
Literature. 11th Ed. Kelly J. Mays. 2014. Print.
Jane the Virgin. Directed by Jennie Snyder Urman,
performances by Gina Rodriguez, Justin Baldoni, Brett Dier, and Yael Grobglas.
2014.
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